If You Want More Out Of Life - Then It's Time To Get Excited...Because
You can let it screw you
Or You Can Get On Top And
Enjoy The Ride
Purpose Of Life Is to Live Not to Avoid Pain
Come To The Edge He Said
I Can't I'm Afraid
Come To The Edge He Said. I Can't, I Will Fall.
Come To The Edge He Said. I Came To The Edge.
He Pushed Me And I Flew.
Christopher Logue
Interested In A New Group?
A. To generate ideas to help identify opportunities and options we may not be aware of. It's interesting how it's easier to brainstorm and come up with ideas for other people than it is for our self. Outsiders can often see untapped opportunities that we may have missed. Or as George Orwell use to say, "The ability to see the opportunities in front of one's nose is constant struggle."
B. To create accountability by meeting regularly, this drives us to make progress because every 2 weeks we will look each other in the eye and tell every one what we did or didn't do. Yes that's scary but it's necessary to create massive change. Fellow members will hold our feet to the fire and call us out when we're slacking.
Every president, CEO, actor, athlete has a coach, a mentor or a team to guide them, so why not you? This alone is perhaps the most powerful productivity technique of all, someone to hold us accountable, something too many lack.
Successful people ask better questions, as a result they get better answers, so come prepared with your questions.
1. What are you most excited about in your life right now that you're working on?
2. What's keeping you from reaching the next step in your journey?
The key to generating good ideas is to not be afraid to come up with bad ideas especially since most ideas are bad, at lest initially. The first step in this process is to avoid trying to create and analyze ideas at the same time as one interferes with the other. This is where a group of people can help by asking "What if" to modified the question or the answer by doing x,y or z?
The great inventor Thomas Edison refused to say he failed 10,000 times. "I was experimenting with different filaments of wire, I was trying new ideas and I learned every time what does not work." Who in their right mind does not give up after 4,000 attempts? It’s the person who is willing to reframe every attempt as an experiment. Reframing each "failure" as an experiment, takes some of the sting out so we can keep on experimenting until we succeed.
To Possibilities.
Brian
If after reading these 10 ideas you're still interested in the group, email me at IWantToLive@LifeIsLikeSex.com
sneak peak
10 Ways To Create A More Exciting Life
1. Why Is Honesty Painful?
2. What If... Nothing Changes?
3. Enjoying The Ride
4. Magic Is On The Other Side Of Fear
5. How To Discover What Works
6. Your Biggest Battle
7. All Life Is An Experiment
8. Ultimate Creative Force
9. Why Happiness Is So Important
10. Multiply Your Emotional And Intellectual Resources
Take what you need and leave the rest.
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1: better to Lie To The world Than To lie to yourself
Honesty Is Painful...The Epiphany Of Self Delusion
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The Truth will Set You Free...But First It Will Make You Miserable. James A. Garfield
- Reality is what it is. You must deal with the way the world is, not the way you wish it was. Goal in life should be to discover what reality is, and not try to wish it away.
- Rarely do we see the world as it is, we see what we want to see because we love to be deluded, it feels so warm and fuzzy compared to the harness of reality.
- We think we're immune to the consequences of our own destructive tendencies. Actions have consequences, never be misled just because the payback for your choices are not always immediate.
- The worst place to live is in denial, denial only makes things worse. You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.
- Your perception of reality may not have any connection to reality itself, which should scare the hell out of you.
- To counteract con games, question everything. Love truth more than anything, even your ideology and be willing to let go of cherished beliefs if that’s where it leads.
- Those who would deceive, despise questions. How someone react to questions is revealing. Always ask are ideas based upon logic or emotion? Consensus does not mean something is true as the majority is often wrong.
- Stop the BS. The most foolish thing you can do is lie to yourself, if you lie to yourself, there is no hope.
- Take control of your destiny. Stop with the excuses. Stop blaming other people for your situation,. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop playing the victim.
- Those who think like victims, act like victims. Victims are powerless. Victims are weak and easy targets who give away their power. Never give away your power. Take back your power, take responsibility for your actions and your decisions.
- Be Different. Be A Trendsetter. Be Brave. Blame Yourself. Forget whose fault it is. The only question is, what are you going to do about it?
Music Plus Quotes
This Is It - This Kenny Loggins tune from 1979 says it best.
This is it, make no mistake where you are, don’t be a fool anymore. The moment is now, the waiting is over, here’s your miracle - stand up and fight.
The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love. Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Naiveté is never an admirable trait in adults. Dennis Prager
99% of failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses. George Washington Carver
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2: what if nothing changes?
- Do you do the same thing over and over again but expect different results? (yeah, me too)
- What does it mean if nothing changes, nothing changes, it means change is the only thing that will save you.
- If you do not change when the time is right, you may be forced to change when you are least prepared for it.
- To create a better life accept there's never going to be a shortage of risks, sacrifices and challenges to overcome. Living is risky business, no one's ever sure of everything.
- Change is scary as things might get better or they might get worse.
- Change may not be what you want, but it’s going to happen. Allow not knowing what is going to happen next to excite you to take action and to act, rather than merely react.
- To make progress give up trying to control so much. the day you accept you can’t control everything is the day everything changes. Concentrate on the things you can control, not the things you can't control. You control how you react to things.
- Change is most frightening when you won’t know what your options are. You always have options, they may not be the options you want, but they remain options
- Do you want to get lucky, do what lucky people do, they don't sit around waiting for good luck to strike; they get out there and try new things. They constantly ask them self "What can I do - right now to change my situation?"
- Every other species on the planet is unable to change, people alone possess that power. Trees don't have free will. You don't have to stay where you are. Free will gives you the power to choose what to do next. Get the led out, "There's still time to change the road you're on."
- Change necessary for one reason, no one is coming to rescue you.
- Change is seldom easy because it requires work and discipline to eliminate the negative thinking, the negative behavior and the negative habits accumulated over the years.
- Make the process of change more enjoyable, inject energy and enthusiasm into everything you do. Hold back nothing in life, love, and work.
If you can't fly, run.
If you can't run, walk.
If you can't walk, crawl.
But by all means keep moving. MLK
Take the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase. MLK
To venture we do so by faith. We cannot know the end of anything at the beginning. We venture or we vegetate. We risk marriage on faith
or we remain single. We live by faith or we do not live at all. Harold Walker
Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind.
To the fearful it is threatening because it means things may get worse.
To the hopeful it is encouraging because it means things may get better.
To the confident it is inspiring, as the challenge exists to make things better. King Whitney Jr.
To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often. Churchill
Measure of intelligence is the ability to change. Einstein
Only you can change your life, no one can do it for you. Carol Burnett
Maybe it's finally time to change and get out of that place
Reflections Of My Life - Dean Ford
3: enjoy the ride
Not The Destination
What are you most excited about in your life right now?
- Goals are great but shortly after achieving them the excitement fades. Most of life is lived in the pursuit of goals while only a tiny percent of our time is actually spent in the exhilaration phase of "Yes, I got it!"
- It's quite easy to get caught up in the pursuit of your goals. It's even easier to fool yourself into believing that once you get that promotion, graduate, move, retire, get married, or divorced, that on that magical day, then you'll really enjoy life.
- Much of life loses its meaning if your main reason for living is waiting for some mythical day down the road that may never happen or at least happen the way you hope it does.
- Take pleasure in and cherish the moments of your life as they happen. Each moment is the only thing you own, tomorrow or next year may never happen all else is either a dream or a memory.
- Rather than falling into the trap of being obsessed and fixated on the twin thieves of life...regrets about the past, and worries for the future - make the effort to be aware of and appreciate the moments of your journey as they happen.
- Challenge your self to make each day an adventure. Some days will be small adventures, but others will be one wild and crazy rides.
- Refuse to be normal. Do what few people do, make today a great day. Great days begin the night before with a clear plan of action for tomorrow. Then every morning when you awake, you're ready to act and live life on your terms.
- Curiosity is a wonderful tool, it lets you wake up in the morning and say "what if" I did things differently today, what if I knew what I wanted and what if I did not allow distractions to keep me from following my plan? What if I took more chances and experimented more to discover what works?
- Start each day with magic, unleash the power found in gratitude. Consider your blessings, remind yourself of all the good things you have to keep your mind open to possibilities.
- Stop waiting for better opportunities to magically appear. The opportunities in front of you right now are your best opportunities, but they could disappear in an instant.
- It’s you and only you. No one else determines your destiny; nobody else can come alive for you but you.
The best day of your life is the day you decide your life is your own - that is the day your life really begins. Bob Moawad
Ability to see the opportunities in front of one's nose is a constant struggle. George Orwell
Make today one of the Good Times you look back on with a smile and a wink
Lets Celebrate... Another Day Of Living
Sing Out And Be Free
I Ain't Wastin' No More Time If this 1987 hit tune doesn't kick you in the butt we can't be friends.
"The Station" This poem by Robert Hastings reminds us how fear and regret are twin thieves that rob us of life.
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4: real Magic Is On The Other Side Of Fear
- Fear is normal.
- Everyone is scared.
- The absence of fear is not courage, it's brain damage.
- Fear and anxiety are paralyzing emotions; the best way to overcome this paralysis is through action, action turns concern about failure into positive energy.
- To conquer fear get busy and do something, anything instead of sitting around thinking or talking about doing things. Action breeds confidence, inaction breeds doubt and fear.
- Fear of rejection is powerful, so powerful that some must believe it might be fatal.
- If you’re not being rejected, or have never failed spectacularly, you haven't lived.
- The world is full of average people who live to avoid criticism, passive people, people who seldom venture outside their comfort zone and then miss many wonderful opportunities and experiences. They are too scared to roll the dice, so they simply let life just happen to them. Que Sera Sera.
- Experiment more, it’s how to figure out what works for the future belongs to those who risk.
- Fear? Fear being average. Fear living a boring life. Fear being in the exact same place next year. Fear not being a positive influence in the lives of others. Fear not feeling these fears by living on autopilot.
- If you're waiting for the perfect moment, you're waiting for something that will never exist. Living in the real world means living with uncertainly as there’s always a piece of the puzzle missing. Success is directly related to the willingness to act in the face of uncertainty.
- When you confront your fears they shrink. If you do something that makes you uncomfortable often enough, eventually it becomes as bland as watching the same movie 1,000 times (unless it's the Blues Brothers or Star Trek).
- Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. Few people wake up in the morning and feel like taking big risks, or pushing themselves harder than they've ever pushed before or having conversations that might be uncomfortable.
- When you don't care what people think, you have a chance.
He who loses wealth loses much; he who loses a friend loses more; but he that loses his courage loses all. Miguel De Cervantes
The power others posses is the power I give them. Gerry Spence
Change and new ideas frighten people so don’t expect encouragement. Dr. David Viscott
What’s Next? You’ve gotta go out there and improvise. And you’ve gotta be completely unafraid to die. And you have to die lots. You have to die all the time. Now your not going to die, not really, it only feels that way. Bill Murry
Don’t be afraid to live out your fantasies.
You only have so many chances to jump on a fantasy bus in search of a better life. Who knows where the bus might take you?
Blessed are the curious for they shall have all the adventures.
Kendra Wright’s Most Excellent Tedx Talk
"Fear Is Always Near When You Make The Most Of Your Life.
If you want to live a wildly happy successful life you have to make friends with the dirtiest F word of them all…fear.
Take one minute and imagine yourself in 30 days and you have faced none of your fears and nothing in your life has changed. How do you feel? Do you feel happy, sad, fulfilled or do you feel like you had a chance to change and you let that opportunity pass you buy?
Now take one minute and imagine how you would feel in 30 days
if you started to change. You have a choice to make, to choose either courage over comfort."
"If You Were Choosing Courage Over Comfort In Your Life...Right Now What Would You Be Doing?"
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5: How to discover what works
- Be willing to fail, as only a small percentage of sales, deals or proposals ever close. Best way to achieve long-term success, be prepared for short-term failure.
- See yourself as a problem solver that never stops trying new things, then "failure" becomes a wonderful source of information.
- If you want to succeed embrace failure, it's how you figure out what works, and what doesn't work.
- Doing what’s risky and uncertain is seldom easy, which is why people who dare are so richly rewarded.
- Success in business, marriage, friendship, writing a book, or mastering a new skill demands persistence. Creating great things is a process that seldom happens overnight.
- The more you do, the more you fail. The more you fail, the more you learn. The more you learn the better you get. John Maxwell
- Easy days don’t exist when you’re doing amazing things.
- There are no guarantees in life. If you’re afraid of failing, you’ll never get very far. Practice making a friend of failure, be willing to crash and burn, and even look stupid.
- The core difference between winners and losers: the willingness to fail. Winners know the simple formula for success; double the rate of failure. Winners dislike failure as much as anyone, but they accept that success never happens without them.
- We all screw up big time but mistakes don't have to define you. It's how you handle mistakes that matter. Forgive yourself and move on.
- If you're not excited and scared s***less about what you're doing it's probably not worth doing. Making the most out of life mean being scared to death but taking the next step anyway.
- Life is full of pain, disappointment and a seemingly never-ending stream of hardships, obstacles, failures, injustices and curve balls. The good news: perspective, life throws everyone curve balls.
- To prepare for reality, remind yourself, "Today I will encounter interference, ingrates, rudeness, disloyalty, hostility, selfishness, busybodies, egomaniacs, liars, jealous people, cranks, rejection, frustration, lost jobs, incompetent "professionals", so called bad luck, loans that aren’t granted, sales that don’t close, dishonest friends, lovers, spouses who walk out, and deals that fall through at the last moment and of course stupid drivers.
- It's essential to see good things happening in spite of the fact that life is frequently often unfair.
- Goal in life is not stay stuck but to move quickly through pain and the 5 stages of grief. First comes denial, then anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. The longer you dwell in any stage, the longer you'll stay stuck and the greater its power to harm you.
- Striving for perfection is the best way to hide from creating something excellent. Strive for excellence because this world doesn't reward perfectionists, but those who get things done. Perfection is a fantasy and an illusion. The illusive search for perfection is the direct path to anxiety, anger, addiction, depression, and paralysis.
- Go start something. It's OK if it's a little rough around the edges, just create value and then improve it out as you go. Do what you can, where you are, with what you have, it's all anyone can do.
- Success is never a straight line but a constant series of unexpected twists, turns and setbacks.
Question is not who is going to let me;
The question is
Who is going to stop me? Ayn Rand
Nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance.
Talent will not.
Nothing more common than unsuccessful people with talent.
Genius will not.
Unrewarded genius is almost legendary.
Education will not.
The world is full of educated derelicts.
Perseverance, determination alone are omnipotent. Calvin Coolidge.
If everything is under control, you're just not going fast enough.
Mario Andretti.
The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. Thomas Paine
This 1979 song has a message worth repeating Ain't No Stopping Us Now
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6: real battle - Hardest Battle begins in your Mind
To Behave Differently You Must Think Differently
Martin Luther King Said I Have A Dream...
He Did Not Say I Have A Goal
Goals Give You Focus
Dreams Give You Power
- Your outlook on life is your point of reference for all you expect to happen as it controls both your actions and your dreams.
- Your outlook is even a better predictor of success than IQ.
- It's time to stop talking to yourself...as in the negative self-limiting beliefs most of us use so frequently. “I’m not smart enough, I never do anything right, I could never do that.” Negative self-talk does one thing well, it stops you from becoming a better you. If you would never let another person talk to you, the way you do, then it's time you stopped as well.
- To stay motivated you must see positive results. Only when you can imagine alternative realities can you begin to think in terms of possibilities.
- Get excited about your life and act like that kid again on the first day of summer vacation; get fired up about your life and its possibilities.
- No matter how positive you feel about what you are doing, never fail to show it on the outside since no one can read your mind.
- Most of life comes down to how you look it. In any setback or difficulty you can say, "This is the worst thing ever," or "Wow, am I ever lucky, it could have been worse."
- Step back and see how awesome life is, even if it's not that great right now because the most powerful time to be positive is when everything around you is not so positive.
- Being positive is a strategy and a choice not an inborn trait bestowed on a lucky few, it's a skill and a habit you can learn.
Dream, we can't be happy without them, as they show we have hope for the future.
- Dreams are essential for without dreams you have no hope and without hope, you have nothing.
- Give yourself permission to dream big dreams for only then are you free to abandon the people and things that waste your time.
- Dreams never magically appear but must be attached to a picture and then combined with strong emotions otherwise they're simply nice ideas. It must be so much more than a "Yeah, I guess it would be nice to have", it must be something you crave and run madly after.
Positive thinking won't let you do anything, but it will let you do everything better than negative thinking will. Zig Ziglar
Life Is How You Look At It
Two shoe salesmen were dispatched to a remote African village and within minutes the head office received two telegrams, one said, "Get me out of here, no one here wears shoes," the other said, "Send more shoes, no one here wears shoes."
Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. Thomas Jefferson
All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible. T. E. Lawrence 1888-1935
When I dream I believe I am rehearsing my future. David Copperfield Magician
Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow
What A Day For A Day Dreaming Boy
Dream Baby Dream
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7: All Life Is An Experiment
Show me a man who can make a decision and act on that decision and I'll show you a man who will succeed. Dale Carnegie
- The first sale is to yourself. Got to sell yourself on your self. If you don't believe in yourself no one else will. Confidence turns thoughts into actions.
- Crazy successful people are confident and even a bit delusional that believe and act like they are rock stars before they are rock stars. U.C. Berkeley School of Business.
- Research shows those who believe they will become successful are more likely to become successful. People who believe they are fast runners tend to run faster. People who believe they’re going to do well on a test are more likely to do well on the test. So what's a man to do? Believe in yourself, polish your skills, keep learning and never stop questioning.
- Perfectionism is the mortal enemy of an exciting life because there are no perfect plans. Learn to live not knowing everything before you act. Sometimes you just have to make the call and say this is good enough.
- No choice is still a choice. For simple decisions, when you're full of pep, use your brain. Take 5 minutes to decide, not 5 hours. For complex decisions or tired, use intuition, your sixth sense, and go with your gut instinct. Trusting your gut is powerful because your gut is the collection of your entire subconscious past experiences.
- Nothing is more difficult and therefore more precious than the ability to decide. Napoleon.
- Learn to make decisions that seem a little irrational from the outside yet feel totally right on the inside.
- If unsure what to do next, outline all of your options and write them out. None will be perfect and all will involve some degree of discomfort. Life is not about the choices you want, it's about the choices you have.
- Everything in life is a trade off. Everything has a price. If you're watching TV, you're not reading a book. If you're reading a book, you're not working. If you're working, you're not sleeping.
- If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you’ll never make much progress or create anything original.
- Overthinking: Wanting all the answers and then doubting all the answers. Think. Plan. Polish it as you go.
- Stop over analyzing, relax, stay cool and manage your emotions. This helps your brain make right choices. When angry or emotional it's almost impossible to think logically and you're more likely too overreact.
- The best survivors, SuperSurvivors spend almost no time in emergencies getting upset over what’s lost or feeling distressed when things go badly.
- If you’ve hit rock bottom, you can’t afford to do things conventionally. You can reinvent yourself and reawaken your magic, your power and your dreams.
- You are more powerful than you realize. Envision yourself doing thing boldly.
- Best way to see what works is to experiment. Be a scientist, experiment more. Replace "I'm going to try something," with "I have an hypothesis, I wonder if this will work?"
- 2 choices in life, fit in or stand out, if you fit in you will disappear.
- Are you waiting for someone to give you what you want?
- Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and leap.
- Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage.
- Own your flaws and imperfections - then no one can use them against you.
You're only a little spark of madness, you mustn't lose it. Robin Williams
There’s a microscopically thin line
between being brilliantly creative
and acting like a gigantic idiot.
When in doubt make a fool of yourself. Cynthia Heime
Fine line between genius and insanity.
I like to use it as a jumping rope. Anon
I want to stay as close to the edge as possible without going over. Out of the edge you can see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
You laugh at me because I am different.
I laugh at you because you are all the same. Daniel Knode
It’s none of my business what people say of me or think of me.
I do what I do. It makes life so much easier. Anthony Hopkins
Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind?
I Made Up My Mind, I Ain't Wastin' No More Time
Art Williams - The original - "Just Do It"
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8: ultimate creative force in the world: Focus
But Only If You Learn To Control It
- Focus: The magic quality that opens doors, makes seemingly impossible things possible and is the main reason people accomplish more.
- Laser like focus is power and the key to a superior mind but ONLY when you refuse to allow distractions to dilute your power.
Focus Demands 4 Building Blocks
- It demands a long attention span, which is why so few master it.
- It demands solitude for without it, no serious work is possible.
- It demands you fight a daily battle with distractions and interruptions. Focus is easier when you take control of you’re environment. Remove distractions from your surroundings, especially your phone. Your world won’t end if you don’t check it for an hour. What surrounds you influences you.
- It demands the ability to prioritize, something everyone talks about but few ever master or practice consistently. If everything is a priority, nothing is a priority.
- Ask yourself one question, what do I have to get done today, not next month, next week and not even tomorrow - just today, then put you entire focus on that one thing and ignore all else until that one thing is complete.
- Develop this habit to only focus on the next step exclusively. If you refuse to prioritize, to choose the next most important thing you need do to reach your goals, you will get overwhelmed because everything will appear urgent and important.
- Do everything in your power to resist the temptation to get side tracked by peripheral issues that cannot yield a positive payoff no matter what their outcome. It’s almost impossible to overestimate the un-importance of practically everything.
- The flip side is the human brain can only concentrate for so long. The brain is not at its best when overloaded. A relaxed brain processes information better and faster. Be kind, give your brain regular time outs to disconnect, unwind and daydream. Silence is not the enemy.
- Your real power is in your ability to say no. No is the ultimate power. Learn to say no yourself and especially to the good things that you really want in exchange for things you want even more.
- A recent study showed people preferred to receive electric shocks rather than spend time alone with their own thoughts. Electronic noise our new drug of choice.
Still Multitasking?
- Multitasking reduces productivity by up to 40 percent
- Multitasking trains the brain to focus on irrelevant items
Solution
- Turn off all notifications
- Set timer for 40 or 50 minutes and do only one thing
- Process your emails in batches
- Turn off internet connection while working
All of man’s troubles come from his inability to sit quietly in a room by himself. Pascal
Focus demands discipline. Anything becomes possible with discipline. But without self-discipline a person with every blessing of background, education, opportunity will seldom rise above mediocrity. Brian Tracy
Everybody is creative. Everybody is talented. Not everybody is disciplined. That’s a rare quality. Al Hirschfeld
If we did all the things we are capable of we literally astound ourselves. Thomas A. Edison
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9: Why Happiness Is So Important
17 Things Happy People Do To Make their Lives Spectacular
- They see bad times as temporary and search for the good, the valuable lesson in every situation, setback and difficulty.
- They refuse to give little things or little people the power to steal their happiness, that is they don't sweat the small stuff.
- Instead of complaining they ask, “What’s the solution?”
- They refuse to live in the past, instead they constantly think and talk about their dreams and their future.
- They have a sense of control in their lives from having concrete goals. They don’t let worries stay vague and scary, but create specific plans to handle those concerns.
- They focus on the abundance in their life rather than on the things they lack.
- They count their blessings daily and talk about the things for which they are grateful.
- They find humor in the absurdity of life, especially their own eccentric behaviors. Human beings are the only animals that can laugh at them self. It's easy to laugh at others, but if you can laugh at your own quirks, you'll always be happy.
- To keep their sanity from the all insanity that exists in the world they know precisely what gives them happiness and do more of those things. Often it's simple things such as taking pleasure in their hobbies, or music, friends, exercise, religion, cycling, cars, dogs, nature, books, travel, the traveling rings, Blue-Tongued Skinks, comedy clubs, good food, conversation, the beach, or even turtles.
- They change their attitude by reframing situation. Rather than saying, “I have to go to work, or “I have to exercise”, they replace it with "I get to go to work or “I get to exercise” along with the optional, "and I (expletive deleted) love it.”
- They accept that people seldom act the way they want, and since they know they can’t control people or events, they realize it's only logical to have fewer expectations, so when things actually go the way they wish, they are happy and grateful.
- They know it's easy to be happy for the big things in life like, a new car, a promotion or a better job, but big events in life are rare while the little things are far more common, so they appreciate and take joy in the abundance of the little things.
- They look for the offsetting positives when things they dislike happen because they know if they wish to be depressed, it's quite easy; simply ruminate on negative things and negative people.
- Before they do anything they ask, will this make me happy? Watching TV or playing video games for 3 hours a night might be fun now, but they ask twenty years from now will I be happy that I did?
- They know that everything in life is temporary and not everyone or everything is meant to stay. Sometimes the best thing to do is turn the page and accept that things will never go back to how they use to be.
- They accept that developing the skills, attitude and mindset to being happy is not something that comes easily or naturally but requires work just as everything worthwhile does, so they put in the effort to change their attitude and actions to make it happen
Why Optimism Rocks
- Positive emotions flood the brain with the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin that not only make you feel good, they also improve the learning center of your brain to help you organize new information and keep that information in the brain longer and then retrieve it faster.
- Sadness and despair are negative emotions that create apathy; the belief that nothing matters.
- Optimism is the most important human trait, because it allows us to evolve our ideas, to improve our situation, and to hope for a better tomorrow. Seth Godin
- Being optimistic gives your brain a competitive edge. When you have a positive mindset, you’re smarter, more motivated and more successful.
- Being optimistic allows your brain to stay open to possibilities, to think logically, more creativity, to feel less anxiety, to be better at complex problem solving and even be better negotiator.
- Optimists see more opportunities, set more goals, and put more effort into attaining those goals.
- Optimists cope better in high stress situations and interpret adversity as temporary.
- Optimism is the foundation for courage. It boosts brainpower and is a powerful predictor of work performance. Optimistic salespeople outsell pessimistic counterparts by over 50%.
- Your brain is organized to act on what it predicts will happen next. Your outlook becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that directly influences both your behavior and performance.
- During difficult tasks, optimistic people produce better results. If you believe there will be a positive payoff for your effort you can't help but work harder.
- Optimists focus on all the reasons they will succeed and concentrate on their core signature strengths. They constantly remind them self of all the relevant skills they have, not the ones they lack.
- Optimists possess clear vision for an exciting life. They get energized because they never stop thinking and talking about where they are going and their plans to make their dreams reality.
But Pessimists...
- Pessimists have little or no clear vision of a fantastic life, they are walking, talking BMW's that live to bitch, moan and whine.
- Pessimists think about and focus on what they don’t want and talk incessantly about the problems they have, or will have.
Why Gratitude Radically Rocks
- The average person today has more opportunities than any other time in history. A computer and an Internet connection gives you access to more information and connects you to more people than even Einstein could have ever imagined.
- Consider being grateful for all the problems you don't have.
- Grateful people are more energetic, more emotionally intelligent, more forgiving and happier
- Gratitude is the foundation for happiness, especially when you're down or things are less than perfect, which is exactly when gratitude is the most powerful.
- Thinking you're entitlement to most things is a trap that destroys happiness, gratitude and dreams. If you feel entitled to something you won't have gratitude when you get it. Who feels gratitude after working all week and getting paid?
- If you constantly expect people to do what you want or read your mind, you're guaranteed to be disappointed. Expect less and you'll be less disappointed. On the flip side, when nice things happen, you’ll be happy, surprised and grateful because you didn't expect it.
- Express gratitude frequently, if you keep it a secret it's like winking at someone in the dark, it does no good.
Proof You Can Control Your Attitude
"We who lived in the concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms--to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." Victor Frankl
A Sad Soul Can Kill You Quicker Far Quicker Then A Germ. John Steinbeck
It’s none of my business what people say of me or think of me. I do what I do. It makes life so much easier. Anthony Hopkins
Always Look For The Bright Side In honor of Brian(s) everywhere and offbeat comedies anywhere, a curious song from the 1979 hit movie, The Life Of Brian.
Want a little more pep in your step, belt it out! -- Get A New Attitude
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10: Never go it alone
Not Only Do I Need All The Brains I Have - But All I Can Borrow
- The Harvard Grant study, the largest analysis ever of this kind followed 268 men for over 80 Years. It found that the #1 thing that helped these men achieve happiness and success in every area of life was their relationships.
- Numerous business studies also indicate that networking is the #1 predictor for success. But networking is far more than collecting business cards, it's building real relationships. Since real relationships take time, make time to build them, before you need them.
- Want to multiply your emotional, intellectual and physical resources, build a community you can count on. The way of the world is meeting people through other people.
- Most lasting business is built on friendships. People are 6 times more likely to make a deal with someone they like rather than a stranger.
- Networking objective, be interested before being interesting.
- Manage your relationships. Do you really need to be someone’s emotional punching bag? Keep toxic people out of your life, even if it's family as they are often the most neurotic of all.
- There is nothing as central to happiness and success as love and intimacy. Look for people who make you say, “I like what they stand for and what they’re doing with their life.”
- Main reason people fail, lack of strong relationships. Main reason relationships fail, lack of follow up. Follow up is far more than texting, posting or emailing, Connecting requires face to face, nose to nose and belly button to belly button interaction.
- Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder, it just makes you forget.
- Instigate relationships with a small number of people, strive for closeness over quantity.
- Vulnerability is courageous, be brave, find role models, ask for advice, counsel, or guidance from those you admire and trust.
- People are not mind readers. Be precise; tell people exactly what you want. If you don't ask, the answer is always no.
- What’s your story? Stories connect in ways facts do not. Be authentic, let people see the real you, tell your story with your whole heart.
- True connections and True friends discuss hopes, dreams, and fears. Only when we let our guard down and open ourselves to others do we truly connect. Expose your ideas to ridicule and even laughter. Yes it’s scary; it’s why we wear masks because we’re afraid of rejection.
- Connections create more connections. Trust creates more trust. Ideas create more ideas. Friends bring us more friends. Relationships and connecting deeply is our most basic need, the yearning to be understood and respected.
- Don’t be chill when it comes to making friends. Tell people you like and value that they’re great and you want to hang out with them. If they signal they’re not interested, they're not pat of your tribe. so keep searching, but never miss an opportunity to get to know someone just because you don’t want to appear overly eager.
- In the new economy it’s the fearful person, the one who does not enter the arena that’s disconnected, isolated and punished. Seth Godin
- To unlock deeper friendships, discover new opportunities, be candid, become vulnerable, show the real you, the unpolished parts. This is who I am, accept me or if you must, leave me. Finding happiness and love results from being open. Hiding is easier if you want to remain a stranger and alone.
The Internet is a connection machine.
To keep friends in your life realize everyone is a package. Everyone has traits you don't like just as you have traits others won't like. Only question to ask, is do the traits you like in others outweigh the traits you don't like?
- Become an instigator not a responder
- Initiate ideas and projects
- Invite friends over for a spontaneous dinner party
Call it a clan, call it a network,
call it a tribe, call it a family
whatever you call it, who ever you are,
you need one. Jane Howard
To the soul there is hardly anything more healing than friendship. Thomas Moore
I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends
If you're lonely, you're not alone. It's interesting how loneliness has become such an pervasive challenge. It's now an epidemic world wide in spite of social media and this wonderful connection machine called the internet.
You're At A Fork In The Road
A. Keep doing the same thing.
Or
B. Reach out and try something new.
Einstein's timeless definition of insanity is classic.
If you're doing the same thing over and over again, and yet expect different results - it's time for a new plan
The challenge that so many people have is not knowing how to take that first step of reaching out to another person for help. Kate Middleton
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Dreamers And Daredevils all
What Did You Dream About Before You Stopped Dreaming?
These people questioned reality and the conventional wisdom of their day and steadfastly refused to give up on the things they believed in.
- Ford started from scratch, had little schooling, and went bankrupt several times. He was told the V8 motor was impossible. People thought he was unbalanced, and he was, with an enthusiasm for cars.
- Edison dreamed of a lamp that would work with electricity. He only had 3 months of schooling by the age of ten. A teacher said he was too stupid to learn anything and was considered unteachable. In spite of this perceived handicap, he became one of the most prolific inventors in history. He was fired from a telegraph company. While playing with putty he created carbon filament and “failed” 10,000 at inventing the light bulb but he refused to give up. Eventually he received 1,093 patents. Men with negative minds tried to convince him that he could not build a machine that would record and reproduce the human voice because no one else ever had.
- Albert Einstein didn’t talk until he was 4 or read until he was 7 and was thought to be retarded. A Munich schoolmaster said he would never amount to much. He did not do well in college. In 1921 he won a Nobel Prize in physics. (All though he was known to get lost walking home from work.)
- Colonel Harland Sander’s restaurant went out of business because a new freeway bypassed it. Then in 1955 at the age of 65, he received his first SS check for $105 and used it to begin a new career. The Colonel got into his battered car and visited potential franchisees everywhere, enthusiastically telling them of his fried chicken, and his eleven secret herbs and spices.
- Wright brothers were unreasonable because they dreamed of a machine that would fly through the air. Everyone laughed at their attempts to fly.
- Marconi dreamed of a system for harnessing the forces of ether. He wanted to send messages through the air. His friends had him committed.
- John Bunyan wrote Pilgrim’s Progress after being in prison for his faith.
- Charles Dickens has the tragedy of his first love, then came David Copperfield.
- Helen Keller serves as evidence that no one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as reality.
- Robert Burns cursed by poverty, became a drunkard, and then wrote great poetry.
- Beethoven was deaf.
- Milton was blind.
- Leo Tolstoy wrote War and Peace while living in a small house with his wife…and...13 children.
- Sergio Zyman failed at “New Coke,” only to spend the next seven years making money as a consultant rebuilding his reputation, then to return to Coke and made a fortune for himself and Coke.
- Bernie Marcus worked as a cabinetmaker to get through pharmacy school. Later he was fired from a home improvement store. Now he is a billionaire after founding Home Depot.
- Walt Disney was fired from an ad agency because he had no imagination or drawing ability. He went bankrupt several times. His dream was to build a massive theme park in the middle of a hot Florida swamp for Disney World was rejected by over 300 investors.
- Babe Ruth held the record for home runs, 714, and also held the record striking out 1,330 times.
- R. H. Macy failed seven times before his store in New York caught on.
- Fred Smith came up with the idea for FedEx as a student at Yale. USPS, UPS and his business professor and delivery expert in the U.S. said there was no market for it. No one would pay a fancy price for speed and reliability. Smith was not even the first to come up with the idea, just the first to act on it.
- John Creasey The English novelist received 753 rejection slips before his 600 books were published.
- Oprah was fired from her first job as a reporter and told she would never make it on TV.
- The Beatles were rejected by Decca records and told guitar bands were out.
- Univac invented the computer but refused to talk to any business that inquired about it. IBM later said only 5 or 6 people in the world would be interested in a computer. In 1976 Steve and Steve created Apple computers.
- Airplane one of the funnies movies ever was rejected by every major movie studio until Michael Eisner made history when he realized it’s potential and gave it the green light.
- Mark Victor Hanson never stopped believing in his book, Chicken Soup for the Soul, even after it was rejected 140 times.
- This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. Western Union internal memo, 1876.
- Lucile Ball was sent home with a note from her drama class stating she was wasting her time because she was too shy to put her best foot forward.
- Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball class and went home and cried. “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
- Howard Schultz had idea for a chain of stores selling just coffee for $3.00 in paper cups. Yet he never gave up on his idea for Starbucks even after being turned down by over 200 banks.
- Marilyn Monroe was rejected from 20th Century-Fox after producers decided she was not pretty enough for movies.
- Twilight author Stephenie Meyer had 9 rejections from literary agents, before she received a $750,000 three-book deal.
- Tim Ferriss had 26 publishing rejections for The 4-Hour Workweek which spent 7 consecutive years on The New York Times Bestseller list, from 2007 to 2013.
- Jack LaLanne was a junk food junkie and was sickly as a child, but that changed when his mother took him to a Paul Bragg lecture. Jack is credited with starting the American fitness revolution. His birthday feats are the stuff of legends. In 1984 (age 70): handcuffed, shackled and fighting strong winds and currents, he towed 70 rowboats, along with several people, from the Queen’s Way Bridge in the Long Beach Harbor to the Queen Mary, one mile. He was the picture of health well into his 90’s.
- Dr. Seuss' first children's book was rejected by twenty-three publishers," while the twenty-fourth publisher sold over six million copies.
- Jerry Seinfeld’s first time on stage didn’t go so well. On seeing the audience he froze and was booed and jeered off stage. He came back to the same stage the following night and had the audience in hysterics.
- Elvis Presley after his first performance at the Grand Ole Opry, was fired and told “you can’t sing, you ain’t goin’ nowhere, son. You ought to go back to drivin’ a truck.”
- Ray Bradbury's senior thesis advisor told him he could never make a living with his kind of writing.
- Alex Haley received 200 rejection notices before Roots became a mega-best-seller.
- John Grisham’s first novel, A Time to Kill, was turned down by more than thirty agents and fifteen publishers. There are now more than sixty million copies of his books in print.
- At Fred Astaire’s first screen test someone said, “Can’t act. Can’t sing. Can dance a little.”
- Alexander Graham Bell’s banker said to him, “Get that toy out of my office immediately.”
- Harry Warner, President of Warner Brothers pictures, said in 1927, “Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?”
- Jack Nicholson, upon accepting his Academy Award for Best Actor in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, said something like, “I dedicate this to my agent—who told me ten years ago I had no business being a serious actor.”
- Winston Churchill failed English.
- Johann Gutenberg combined two previously unconnected ideas: the wine press and the coin punch.
Some of the most remarkable people throughout history were a bit odd, many even had serious emotional issues to deal with, yet others were downright miserable: writers such as Ernest Hemingway and Virginia Woolf, composers like Rossini and Mahler, statesmen like Lincoln and Churchill, and artists like Michelangelo and Gauguin to name just a few.
So what’s your excuse?
Is it some "handicap", or perhaps it's your age?
If so, consider September's two posts.
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The Traveling Rings
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